When tragedy strikes, using catchy sayings and trite moralisms is like throwing up a piñata and seeing what happens. As with every piñata, someone will eventually hit it with a bat, which makes the idea of exposing our actual selves terrifying. Watching the attack on what has already been said makes it nearly impossible to ever expose our deepest feelings and hopes. To expose our actual self by saying “this is me, these are my fears and failures” runs the risk that we’d be hit with a bat anyway. For change to occur, we have to be allowed to feel what we feel. Giving someone the space to feel is one of the greatest gifts we can offer one another.